Childhood Development: 5 Tantrum Red Flags

Welcome to the dreaded tantrum phase which most parents have experienced. This is a natural part of childhood development, but if left unchecked, can cause further issues later in life.

Most children argue, are disobedient to their elders, and act out. These are known as growing pains as children grow and grapple with boundaries and rules. 

However, when tantrums persist well past a certain age and become routine, it’s time to act. Constant bouts of anger and rage are clear indicators that something’s wrong, and you, as a parent, should be mindful of this type of behaviour. 

Tantrums in toddlers and preschoolers are often overlooked by parents and other adults and this can fester into a problematic issue well into their teenage years and beyond. 

What is a typical tantrum?

This usually happens when your child is exhausted or irritated, especially during daily routines like bath time, bedtime, feeding or getting dressed. Atypical tantrums, that is, uncommon outbursts, come out of nowhere or are so strong they leave your child drained. It should raise a red flag when it starts to occur often.

Look out for these 5 tantrum red flags

1. Your child is unable to control their emotions

This involves them lashing out, breaking things, shouting and screaming and generally being uncontrollable until you concede or find a way to calm them.

2. Anger directed towards people or objects 

A child may occasionally try to hit or kick a caregiver or sibling or even the parent. If this starts becoming the norm during an outburst, that’s a worrying sign. 

3. Long-lasting outbursts 

If the outbursts often carry on for more than 25 minutes, there may be a deeper problem. Also, if you’re experiencing several tantrums a day, that’s another red flag.

4. Your child attempts to hurt themselves

Disturbing signs include them scratching or biting themselves, hitting their head against the wall or threatening to injure themselves in any way.

5. Tantrums when out of the home

It’s every parent’s nightmare when their child lashes out in public. If this also starts becoming commonplace to the point that they are completely uncontrollable, it’s time to find the reason why – and the solution.

Help at hand: dealing with the aftermath

Your child will probably be very sensitive after a tantrum. Older kids will have some awareness of their behaviour. 

•  Tell your child, "I admire how you calmed down" to show your appreciation for them taking back control. 

•  Give your child a hug and tell them they are loved no matter what.  

•  Help your child think of various ways they may have better expressed their frustration.

•  Let them know that violence is not acceptable at all. 

•  Depending on their age and stage, you will have to come up with an appropriate discipline method. It could be a timeout, an extra chore or taking away their toys for a period. 

•  Be firm about enforcing apologies, especially if they injured or lashed out at a sibling or caregiver.

•  Keep track of your child’s sleep cycle. Kids who don't get enough sleep are often hyperactive, irritable and loud. The average child needs between seven and nine hours of sleep every night depending on their age.

When to speak to a paediatrician:

•  The tantrums are constant and exhausting for you and your child. 

•  The temper tantrums strain your relationship with your child or your partner.

•  To stop your child from misbehaving, you keep giving in.

•  The temper tantrums are more regular, more severe or continue longer.

•  Your child frequently hurts themselves or others.

•  Your child rarely cooperates and engages in a lot of arguments.

Although it's uncommon, your doctor might assess other health issues that contribute to the tantrums. Children may occasionally be more prone to tantrums due to hearing or visual issues, chronic sickness, language difficulties or learning disabilities.

Good to know

Keep in mind that tantrums aren’t always a reason for concern: tantrums are a developmental milestone and usually end on their own. It happens naturally as children develop self-control and maturity as they get older. They gain essential skills in communication, cooperation, and hopefully, learn how to productively cope with frustration from your parenting techniques.

Disclaimer

This article is for informational purposes only. Always check with your doctor or medical practitioner about any health concerns, before embarking on any fitness or nutrition programme, and usage of any medication.